Ego Check | Episode 4

Ego Check | BMR 04

How do you recognize the ego and do an ego check? How does your ego show up in arguments? How do you remove the ego when it shows up?

In this podcast, Billy and Brandy Eldridge talk about checking your ego and how it can play a big part in betas lives.

In This Podcast

Summary

  • Billy’s ego
  • The failure résumé
  • How do you do an ego check?

Billy’s ego

After rehab, Billy found himself in an entry-level position with a chip on his shoulder as he had already worked in managerial positions prior. He felt like they were trying to show him how to do his job. From the beginning, his ego was hurt because he took a job that he thought was beneath him and he felt entitled to more.

When he was called into the office one day, his ego went supercharged. He felt like he had rights, and got defensive. He wasn’t surprised when he got a call that he shouldn’t come back.

The failure résumé

Brandy went through a failure resume which is anti-ego. This meant listing all the failures she had in life, without making an excuse for it. You had to own the stuff you didn’t want to, without defending it. Brandy is still noticing patterns of ego and finding things out about herself.

It’s important to have these conversations and remove ourselves from the center of the universe.

How do you do an ego check?

When Billy’s ego is engaged, his blood pressure goes up, his heart begins to race, gets short of breath, shoulders get tense, his jaw is clenched, and he needs to self soothe with deep breathing or stretching. During a fight, ask for a time out with 10 minutes to be able to do these techniques.

For Brandy, she has to ask herself a couple of questions. She has to talk to herself and ask where her anger is coming from, as well as ask for a break. When you’re defending yourself, that’s ego. There’s a difference between defending yourself and explaining yourself. Some of these questions are:

Why am I being defensive? Why aren’t you moving to the left of your ego? It’s okay to admit that you’re wrong.

Do you have a strong need to be right?  Does it feel like you’re going to lose something that you think belongs to you? It’s more than important to recognize the ego when it shows up. Cleaning your wreckage up, and putting aside your ego is important for growth.

Are you ready to find the freedom to be yourself as a beta male? Do you want permission and tools to be your best beta? Are you ready to join the revolution to find strength as a beta? If you want to be comfortable in your skin and be the most authentic beta male, then our free beta revolution course is for you. Sign up for free.

Useful links:

Meet Billy Eldridge

billy-eldridge

Meet Billy, the resident beta male. For Billy, this is a place to hang out with other beta males and the people who love them. We’re redefining what beta males look like in the world. I have learned to embrace my best beta self, and I can help you to do the same. As a therapist, I understand the need to belong. You belong here. Join the REVOLUTION.

 

Meet Brandy Eldridge

brandy-eldridge

Hello, Beta friends. I am an alpha personality who is embracing the beta way of life. I feel alive when connected with people, whether that is listening to their stories or learning about their passions. Forget small talk, let’s go deep together. Come to the table and let’s have some life-changing conversations.

 

Thanks for listening!

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Beta Male Revolution is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a network of podcasts seeking to help you thrive, imperfectly. To hear other podcasts like the Bomb Mom Podcast, Imperfect Thriving, or Empowered and Unapologetic, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.

Podcast Transcription

[BILLY]:
Beta Male Revolution is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a family of podcasts seeking to change the world. To hear other podcasts like the Bomb Mom podcast, Imperfect Thriving, or Empowered and Unapologetic, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.

Welcome to the Beta Male Revolution. This is a podcast for beta males, the people who love them, and the alphas that enjoy their company.

Welcome back. We hope you’re having a fantastic day. This is Billy Eldridge with the Beta Male Revolution podcast. And I have with me, as always, the lovely, and the usually right, Brandy Eldridge.

[BRANDY]:
I’m so glad you started with that because I am usually right. I don’t know why it works out that way.

[BILLY]:
It usually works out best when it goes that way.

[BRANDY]:
And it’s not about my ego.

[BILLY]:
It’s not about your ego. Are you sure?

[BRANDY]:
Just saying that? What is our topic?

[BILLY]:
It’s funny that you bring that up. We’re going to talk about egos today. Big egos. How big egos get us in trouble. And what do we do with that?

[BRANDY]:
The healthy and unhealthy ego. And we’re going to teach you a little bit of a ego check.

[BILLY]:
Yeah, a life hack.

[BRANDY]:
A life hack. So, let’s talk about when you got fired for your ego.

[BILLY]:
Oh, you’re gonna jump right in there.

[BRANDY]:
Yeah, I am. Because it’s a [unclear] story.

[BILLY]:
Alright, we’re gonna get vulnerable. We’re just gonna get emotionally naked right off the bat. There was a time in 2011 and I was working for a company post rehabilitation, drug rehabilitation. And I had to take what job was offered to me.

[BRANDY]:
But you had a construction background.

[BILLY]:
I had a construction background; I went to work for a construction company.

[BRANDY]:
So, this should have been a pretty good fit.

[BILLY]:
It should have been a good fit. It was not a good fit. Because if you listen to the previous episodes, you know that construction did not fit me. I should have known after 90 days straight of intensive therapy, that… I should have known myself a little better. But I went right back into the same old system that I was in before, which was construction, and I went to work for a small family business, great family, great business. I went in at an entry level position.

[BRANDY]:
Which you already thought you were probably too good for.

[BILLY]:
Yes, I went in with a chip on my shoulder. I’d worked in upper management at another similar company. I was in line to one day be part of the ownership of that company and found myself in a position of being at the bottom of the rung, starting life over, a chip on my shoulder.

[BRANDY]:
And also, you had like this new freedom on life, because you would just, like, you were like the born-again rehab type thing, like, you were…

[BILLY]:
I was super pumped.

[BRANDY]:
You were super pumped about your sobriety, which was great. But it was irritating. So, I’m sorry to interrupt. Go ahead.

[BILLY]:
So, I was super jazzed about sobriety.

[BRANDY]:
I like that you used the word jazzed too, sorry.

[BILLY]:
Pretty sure that life was going to give me everything that I had always thought I had deserved. And I got hit with a large dose of reality. I worked there for probably four months and kept running into issues with one of the owners’ children who was in management there. And basically, they were just trying to show me how to do my job, which I thought I already knew how to do and knew how to do well. And it was a fairly simple job and it was just pretty much checking people in and out that were buying construction equipment. And there was a day there towards the end of my tenure at this company, that I had counted down a drawer, and miscounted, and was off by a handful of cents – it was under a dollar – and got called on it. I got called in the office and wanted basically to know that, you know, I had miscounted my drawer, if I couldn’t do simple math, how did I ever think that I was going to make it at this company, at this entry level position, with minimal pay? And it really, man, my ego went supercharged. And it was just the sense of entitlement of, do you know who I am? Do you know who you’re talking to? Really? If that’s a problem, I’ll walk out to my damn car, grab $10, slam it on your table and say, you know, keep the change. I probably didn’t have $10 at that time.

[BRANDY]:
That’s what I was thinking. I’m like, you took an entry level position because we needed the money.

[BILLY]:
Because I was broke. And I thought, who are you to talk to me this way? Because don’t you know who I am? I am a drug addict and an alcoholic, fresh out of rehab, who’s desperately in need of a job, who needs to put diapers on his kids and food on the table. But I forgot about all that and went into this person whose head swelled up, and I felt like I had rights, I got defensive, I felt like I was being mistreated, I thought they were taking something from me that I deserved, which was my integrity, the respect that I had not earned yet. Well, needless to say, I went home later that day and got a call that I didn’t need to come back the next day. So, not only did I take a job that I felt that was beneath me, which was the first ego mistake. Because the second was losing the job.

[BRANDY]:
Yeah, I would say I’ve been there before…

[BILLY]:
Have you?

[BRANDY]:
I’m less likely to talk about that. But yeah, I’ve been in in places before where I felt entitled, or this job was beneath me, I’ve done all this stuff. And had to take the job because I needed a job, but felt like in the back of my head, I should be doing that person’s job. I’m better. I could do that. And that’s never been good for me. I’ve been taking a class and working on my doctorate, and I’m really, really grateful to be taking this one class – I’m gonna give a shout out to Professor Doug Lynch, who is incredible. And he made us go through a failure resume. And it was really interesting the way that he put this together. So…

[BILLY]:
Wait, wait, failure?

[BRANDY]:
Yeah. So just like you would do a resume for a job, you can’t list anything that you’ve done well; you can only list your mistakes.

[BILLY]:
Ouch.

[BRANDY]:
Yeah. And you’re not allowed to defend them, and you’re not allowed to give excuses and talk about what brought you to that level. So, in the beginning to…

[BILLY]:
It’s an anti-ego resume.

[BRANDY]:
It’s an anti-ego resume, and you have to own the stuff that you did, even if you think it wasn’t your fault, and it’s still your failure. So, I think in – I didn’t realize this – but in society, we’re kind of always taught that our failures make us more successful, right? Like, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, that wasn’t your fault. You’re just surviving, you’re doing whatever to get to where you are today. And there’s a lot of truth to that. But what he did is he made us take that failure away from all of that, extract it from that and just simply list it as a failure, and we weren’t allowed to defend it. So, one example I had was I couldn’t read and write in the third grade, which was a huge failure for me because my… but I couldn’t defend it. I couldn’t explain like, well, it was because I moved around a lot. It was one of those highly mobile children. I couldn’t do any of that. So, I had to admit that that was my mistake. Why was it my mistake, and move on from there and I just said, couldn’t read and write in the third grade, set me up for failure for the rest of my life, showed me that I was insecure when it came to academics for the rest of my life. And so, then it goes to the next one, and I was fired from my first job at The Buckle, and I couldn’t tell…

[BILLY]:
What is The Buckle?

[BRANDY]:
Okay, so The Buckle is a fantastic story, just to all the people that work at The Buckle listening, because, you know, anyway, it was like the first really cool store that came to our mall. And I was so excited about getting a job there and I got a job. You worked on commission, and I talked too much. And you would think that’d be a good thing for working on commission. But it totally wasn’t. I talked, I flirted with all the boys that came in, and I never sold anything because I didn’t want to push that on them. I didn’t even like hey, you know, I like you. You’re hot. Come buy these jeans. Like, I just didn’t do it. And so, my friend and I both get jobs there and we laughed the whole time, like we just cut up, we would hide in the dressing rooms when customers came in. We didn’t want to, like, sell them anything. We didn’t want to be pushy. I’m not a good salesperson. They ended up letting me go, rightfully so, and my ego was crushed. Like, you know, I’m so fun to be around and I bring energy to this place, but I didn’t bring money. Anyway, going back to this failure resume. That was just the small pieces of it. Then I had to admit other things and watch for these patterns that I haven’t… and I go to a therapist.

[BILLY]:
Wait, what other things did you have to admit?

[BRANDY]:
So, I asked Billy, I’m asking him like, hey, help me with this failure resume. I’m having a hard time. And I wasn’t the only one in my class. Everybody was like, well, it wasn’t my fault that this happened. It wasn’t my fault that this happened.

[BILLY]:
And let me interject. If you have a spouse that ever has to do a failure resume and they ask for help with it, it is a trick question. I thought she actually wanted feedback. And so, as I began to list things that she might put on that failure resume…

[BRANDY]:
Well, that’s it, like, I start telling you about these failures that I have chosen to put on there.

[BILLY]:
I realized, holy hell, what are you doing? And I couldn’t shut up. I needed to stop.

[BRANDY]:
You need to stop now. No. So I had told you, these were the failures that I was willing to talk about in class. And I had to really look at like, what was failure and what was trauma. Some of them were the same.

[BILLY]:
And I went deep, therapists, like, go deep into trauma, and you’re like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[BRANDY]:
Well, you also started pointing out patterns that I haven’t discovered yet. And you were like, well, here’s the real pattern. And here’s what you really do. And I don’t know if it was your ego or my ego.

[BILLY]:
It was a little bit my ego.

[BRANDY]:
I think so. And I was like, I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. I don’t do that.

[BILLY]:
I thought, I get a backdoor into telling her shit she needs to deal with. This is beautiful. It didn’t work out.

[BRANDY]:
No, we probably should have gone back to that active listening, and we did not. But anyway, what I noticed through all this is that I’m 42 years old, and I’m still noticing patterns of ego; I’m still finding things out about myself. Without your help, I’m finding things out about myself, where I have ego issues that come from deep insecurities, deep fears, and it would be nice to be able to recognize those more often. But since doing that, I have. I’ve really looked at things and said, oh, my gosh, this is a pattern of mine. So, I’m grateful for Doug Lynch, Professor Lynch, and for him allowing us to do that failure resume in the context of work.

[BILLY]:
Yeah.

[BRANDY]:
And then I had some issues at work just a little bit after that, that helped me put my ego in check, because I don’t know if I would have been ready for it prior to that, and I was able to use some skills that you’ve taught me and that you help me with. Those things, I like to hear. Not so much about how my ego needs to get in check, but how I can help…

[BILLY]:
So, what are those things? What do we do? Um, you talked about fears and insecurities coming up that activate ego, what types for you? I mean, I can explain mine if you want me to, but…

[BRANDY]:
You activate my ego, probably more than anyone else.

[BILLY]:
So, let’s talk about that. Why? I know, but let’s let the listeners… and sometimes I don’t know.

[BRANDY]:
I think when we argue, when we fight. You’ve asked me before… other people have asked us, you know, like, for you and Billy, because he’s a therapist and he’s so wonderful all the time.

[BILLY]:
Could you say that again?

[BRANDY]:
Yeah, no. I said it with my eyes rolling.

[BILLY]:
They can’t see that.

[BRANDY]:
I know, but they could hear it my voice. What do you guys do when you argue, like, why do people argue?

[BILLY]:
We try not to throw things.

[BRANDY]:
Yeah, you always say, I think most arguments come back from lack of communication. That’s what you always say. And I say, absolutely not. It’s not communication. It’s selfishness. I think all fights…

[BILLY]:
We argue about where arguments come from.

[BRANDY]:
Yes. I think all arguments come back to there’s a root of selfishness there at some point. And you say communication. And I believe selfishness because I believe in my definition of ego. Ego is selfishness. And it always seems to come back to ego, because one person is not willing to compromise or one person is not willing to get their ego in check in an argument.

[BILLY]:
Yeah. And the reason I say communication, because it comes back to ego also, I have to surrender my need to over talk the other person and my need to be right. I have to table that and I have to learn to listen. And I have to get quiet and realize I’m not the center of the universe. In recovery, early on in recovery, they taught us that ego is edging God out. And regardless of what you believe, God or not, somehow I have to not be the center of my own universe, because if I am, there’s some toxicity there. They told me early on to step to the left, and they said, there you go, now you’re not the center of your own universe anymore. And somehow, if I’m putting myself as the central figure that needs to run everything and run the show, and not bring in any other players, because here’s the deal: if I could keep my ego intact, and the rest of the world would behave in the way that I wanted them to, then everything would be okay. But that’s just not, that’s not the way we work in relationship.

[BRANDY]:
I think it’s important to always have these conversations, looking in removing ourselves as the center of the universe. And having a relationship, partner, and kids are some of the easiest ways to look to the left, to move to the left and not be the center. I think those are natural things, if you allow them to be natural ego levelers, and I still have issues with ego. I have issues with ego, I try to like, come out… When I leave for work, I’m like, by 8:15 I’ve already messed it up. I’ve already messed up by 8:15. So teach me how to do a check. The ego check.

[BILLY]:
Okay.

[BRANDY]:
So, you and I are arguing about something and you don’t see my point of view, I don’t see your point of view. What should we do when our egos are the problem?

[BILLY]:
Well, here’s what I feel in my… I go back to my body, a very somatic experience, that when my ego’s engaged, my blood pressure goes up, my heart begins to race. I get a little short of breath, I tense my jaw, my shoulders get tense. So, I have to self-regulate, self sooth. So deep breathing. There’s a lot of great breathing exercises on YouTube, square breathing that the Navy SEALs use – fantastic – look that up. It’s a quick, easy, deep breathing routine you can use when you feel that tension arise in your body. Stretching, taking a walk, for me and recovery, the Serenity Prayer is powerful.

[BRANDY]:
What’s the Serenity Prayer?

[BILLY]:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference. The first two, you know, I can rock with those. But the wisdom to know the difference, I can’t figure life out and the way it ought to work, with my ego, with my unhealthy ego engaged. I somehow have to surrender that to get the wisdom, because the wisdom comes from deep within. And it’s like when my egos activated, it cuts that off, and it’s all about me and about being right. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. What can I not change? Other people.

[BRANDY]:
If you and I are in an argument and you stop and you start saying the Serenity Prayer, like, in front of me, I’m gonna want to punch you in the face. So, I don’t know how that works.

[BILLY]:
God, right now, grant me the serenity…

[BRANDY]:
Stop, stop.

[BILLY]:
To accept my wife who I cannot change.

[BRANDY]:
No, I’m saying, like, are you going to stop in the middle of an argument and say…? No.

[BILLY]:
Absolutely not. You can ask for a timeout.

[BRANDY]:
Yeah.

[BILLY]:
You can ask for 10 minutes. Mantras, man, I love Ram Dass, and one that he has that he’s said throughout his life, God rest his soul is, I am loving awareness. I am loving awareness. That may be a little too woo for some people, a little too mystical, but if I keep love in the forefront of my mind, and loving awareness, then that has a way of dousing out the fire of ego.

[BRANDY]:
But in the middle of it.

[BILLY]:
In the middle of it, deep breathing, stretching, moving a little bit, getting that tension out of my body is the quickest thing I can do to get myself grounded and emotionally regulated.

[BRANDY]:
And that’s how you move yourself to the left.

[BILLY]:
Yes.

[BRANDY]:
Okay. Breathing, stretching. Yeah. Okay. And then, like, for me, I have to ask myself questions really quickly.

[BILLY]:
Okay.

[BRANDY]:
Like, when I want to hurt you physically.

[BILLY]:
You mention that a lot on the podcast.

[BRANDY]:
I do, I do.

[BILLY]:
Yet, you have never hurt me physically.

[BRANDY]:
I know but it’s like, you love yoga. You love to go to yoga and stretch and breathe, and yoga is like a slow death for me. If I exercise, I want to punch stuff. I want to get physical. I want to run, and you want to breathe. There is a difference in how we are wired.

[BILLY]:
Yeah, it’s that alpha beta mixture. You go for combat. I go for chanting on a mountain top somewhere.

[BRANDY]:
Yes. I mean, when we argue, like, I have to constrain myself because I can think, it’d feel so good right now to, like, punch him. That would be such a good release. And I don’t. But I just have this energy. And I have to talk to myself and say, okay, why are you defensive right now? Like, I have to talk to myself and say, where’s that coming from? Where’s that anger coming from? While you’re talking, I’m probably not listening, because I’m saying, I’m thinking, why are you so angry? What is it that is not…? What is it that’s causing this? And so, I think these are really good questions to ask yourself. If you need to move, if you need to say, I need a break, which I do. I’m like, I need to just, I need to not be around you for a minute. And then ask myself, why are you so defensive? And anytime you and I argue and one of us is defending themselves, one of us is in the wrong. Because we shouldn’t be at that point. When we’re defending ourselves that is ego, ego, ego. So, I ask myself, are you defending yourself? Are you blaming somebody? Are you having this strong need to be right? And that’s probably one of my biggest…

[BILLY]:
But I mean, it sounds like, tell me about that are you defending yourself? Because I use that often, but people are very defensive against me telling them not to be defensive.

[BRANDY]:
I think there’s a difference in defending yourself and explaining yourself.

[BILLY]:
Yeah.

[BRANDY]:
And I think when it’s, I need to explain to you how I’m feeling or I need to explain why I’m feeling this way, and I need to explain what I mean. Instead of… defense is different. You start giving your, like you’re really famous…

[BILLY]:
My list, the things I’ve done.

[BRANDY]:
Your checklist, like, I’ll say to you, Billy, I just need some help with the kids this morning.

[BILLY]:
Oh, yesterday, I did this, I did this, and I provide you a list of achievements.

[BRANDY]:
Yes. You defend yourself instead of just saying, yeah, what can I do?

[BILLY]:
Ego’s engaged in that moment.

[BRANDY]:
Yeah.

[BILLY]:
So how do we combat that defensiveness?

[BRANDY]:
Well, I think you just ask yourself these questions. Why am I being defensive? Because then you say… it’s like you say, you’re not moving to the left. When you start defending it, you’re in the middle of it.

[BILLY]:
Yeah. And so, I think when we start asking ourselves those questions, when the ego’s engaged, here’s two things I feel, and tell me if I’m right or not. I feel like I’m gonna lose something, lose something that belongs to me, or I’m not going to get something I deserve.

[BRANDY]:
Yeah.

[BILLY]:
Like, you tell me, you know, you haven’t been helping with the kids. I feel like I’m losing respect, I’m losing credit for the things I have done, I’m advocating I’m not gonna get something that belongs to me. I’m gonna lose something that I think I deserve.

[BRANDY]:
Yeah, that’s good. So, do I need to hold up a finger, a number one or number two, like, when we’re arguing or when you’re defending yourself, like, number one?

[BILLY]:
We used to have to do that in the first grade when we wanted to go to the bathroom. I don’t know why they made us tell them which one we were doing?

[BRANDY]:
Because then they would know if you were gone longer, which then you would always want to hold up a number two.

[BILLY]:
Yes.

[BRANDY]:
Which is weird.

[BILLY]:
Yeah, that’s strange. Why did my teacher want to know that? So, what engages the ego? I’m going to lose something that I believe belongs to me. And I’m not going to get something I deserve. So, how do we hold these things lightly?

[BRANDY]:
I don’t know if in the middle of me having an argument, or in the middle of getting defensive at work, or feeling scared and afraid, that I’m going to go back to those two things. And so, it’s really got to make sense to me. It’s got to be quick. Do I feel like I’m going to lose something? That’s easy for me to remember. And I think mine would probably always be, do I feel like I’m not getting something I deserve? Yeah, that’s really… I can remember those two things.

[BILLY]:
When I lost the job at the construction company, that I got fired from… I said, ‘lost the job’. See, I’m still protecting my ego. That I got fired from because, you know, I felt like I was losing something that belonged to me, the right to be paid better, the right to be treated better.

[BRANDY]:
To me, that’s number two.

[BILLY]:
And I thought I wasn’t… yeah, and I wasn’t gonna get something that deserved. I should have gotten the better job; they should have put me right in upper management. And that’s the way I started out my career straight out of high school. You know, I was just gonna go straight to the big time without that working, but here’s, in the big scheme of things, here’s how that story played out. Some years later, in working a program of recovery, which keeps my ego somewhat regulated at times and I wish… I hope all people would integrate some level of recovery into their life, because we’re all in recovery from something.

[BRANDY]:
It could be recovery from ego.

[BILLY]:
Yeah. Recovery from ego. And this day was that. My sponsor told me that he wanted me to go make amends for the way that I left that place of business. And it was the last thing in the world I wanted to do, was walk back in there with what I thought was going to be my tail between my legs. But he said, no, we don’t crawl before anyone; we just go, and we make right the wrong. And I thought, how am I going to do this? And he said, you’re just gonna do it because if you don’t, you might drink. And I knew I didn’t want to drink again. And I was just scared enough, and naive enough to believe him enough that that might happen. So, on my lunch break from my job I had at the time, a good job, I took off and I drove across town. And I didn’t think a whole lot about it, because I knew if I got in my head I would talk myself out of it. And I walked up to the door, and I opened it and I just prayed to God that they were on lunch. And I went in, and I saw the owner and the other part owner, sitting in there. And I said, hey, guys do y’all remember me and they were like, yes.

[BRANDY]:
I’m sure we’ve talked about you plenty of times.

[BILLY]:
Yes, we do remember you. And I said, well, last time I was in here, I behaved in some ways I’m not very proud of. I’m trying to live my life in a different way today, and I just want to know if there’s anything I can do to make that right. And they both looked at me like it was a little weird and said no, but we appreciate that. They were very kind. But it was probably awkward for them too, and I left. And when I walked out of there, it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I could breathe a little bit better. And then I got it. This is why we do this work. This is why I get out of the way and it’s okay to admit when I’m wrong. It’s okay to die a little bit for the greater good. And some years later, I ran into her in my grad program. I had graduated with a degree in clinical mental health and I went back to the college to speak or something and she was there, she was in the program. And I can’t imagine – had I not bridged that gap, I would have felt such shame, and such embarrassment that she knows who I really am. She’s seen me, she’s fired me. And I was able to walk in there with my head up, shake her hand, ask her how she was doing. And we have a great relationship today, she actually sends me referrals. She’s a good friend of mine today. We haven’t ever talked about this specific incident. I don’t know why. I mean, I’m sure we could. But it was one of the most powerful, pivotal moments in my life. Why I don’t do it on a regular basis, I have no idea. And I think just cleaning up the wreckage of our past, getting our ego out of the way, dying to self a little bit. I had to do some self-regulation before I went in there. I had to take some deep breaths, I had to stretch, and I walked back and forth in front of the front door. And I went in there with a calm mind, and a clear heart about what I wanted to say, and I said it and I walked out. I hope to do more of that my life.

[BRANDY]:
Yeah, that’s good. That’s really good, Billy. So now when we’re having those moments, I can just yell at you, left. And we’re done.

[BILLY]:
Step out of the center of the universe.

[BRANDY]:
Step out of the center of universe. Thank you, Billy. Thanks for sharing that. That’s always good. I love your stories. They make me cry. Good stuff.

[BILLY]:
I love you. Thank you for being patient with me.

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