Grief | Episode 47

What grief have you experienced in your life? What grows out of grief? How can you come out on the other side of grief with less burden and more life?

In this podcast episode, we share our story and experience of grief and how we came out the other end.

In This Podcast

Summary

  • Disclaimer
  • The grieving
  • The first steps of questioning
  • Coming out the other side

Disclaimer

If you have had these experiences before or are currently pregnant, please proceed with caution, or even skip this one altogether.

There are difficult matters discussed, so come with a fortified heart and compassion to this episode.

The grieving

You were at home in bed grieving, not having words and not knowing how to act but just putting one foot in front of the other and it’s like we were walking in quicksand. It was like time had slowed down and it was hard to move, it was hard to breathe, it was hard to see a future that was good. (Billy Eldridge)

Both Billy and Brandy had to grieve in their own ways, then together, and then as a family. They did have a community that supported them through where they could receive support, walking together where they could with others, before having to walk the rest by themselves.

I think that that community that we had, whether they understood what we were going through or not, they saw us hurting and I will be forever grateful for the people that did that. (Brandy Eldridge)

Over time, many of Brandy’s friends came forward with stories of miscarriages or stillbirths that they had experienced.

And I’m like I didn’t know all of this because there’s this secret community of women that suck it up. There’s this group of really strong women that don’t want to share their emotions because people don’t like talking about things that are sad, me included. (Brandy Eldridge)

The first steps of questioning

The immense intensity of the grief that Brandy went through made her begin to question her faith. Her relationship with God changed, and she still works through it, evolving it to suit her authentically and not simply accepting what everyone around her takes for granted.

These first steps of questioning the norm led Brandy and Billy to truly deepen their faith by reconstructing it and finding out what it truly meant to them, and not what it meant to be seen by others in that way around them.

Coming out the other side

All that to say, there is hope and there is reconstruction, and our story is different and everyone’s story looks different but everyone’s story is just as important to how we shape ourselves and the people we become. Through grief and through suffering there is growth and also beauty in the midst of darkness and in the midst of where things that won’t grow, life will grow. (Brandy Eldridge)

Books mentioned in this episode

Jonathan Fann – Grieve Like a Man: Finding God’s Strength As You Walk Through Your Loss

Useful links:

Meet Billy Eldridge

billy-eldridge

Meet Billy, the resident beta male. For Billy, this is a place to hang out with other beta males and the people who love them. We’re redefining what beta males look like in the world. I have learned to embrace my best beta self, and I can help you to do the same. As a therapist, I understand the need to belong. You belong here. Join the REVOLUTION.

 

Meet Brandy Eldridge

brandy-eldridge

Hello, Beta friends. I am an alpha personality who is embracing the beta way of life. I feel alive when connected with people, whether that is listening to their stories or learning about their passions. Forget small talk, let’s go deep together. Come to the table and let’s have some life-changing conversations.

 

Thanks for listening!

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Podcast Transcription

[BILLY ELDRIDGE]: Beta Male Revolution is part of the Practice of the Practice podcast network, a family of podcasts seeking to change the world. To hear other podcasts like the Bomb Mom podcast, Imperfect Thriving or Empowered and Unapologetic, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.
[BRANDY ELDRIDGE]: Welcome to today’s episode of beta males Evolution with Brandy and Billy, husband and wife. I’m doing the intro today. Today’s episode is about grief, but specifically how we lost a baby. And Billy is going to tell the story today, but I want to give a trigger warning to anyone who has grief that they’re dealing with right now, or to anyone who is pregnant. Please don’t listen to this episode.
[BILLY]: Go watch Ted Lasso.
[BRANDY]: That’s right. All you need is happy thoughts. You don’t need to hear any of this. and Billy is giving his side of the story during this time, because I don’t remember a whole lot. It was really rough and I don’t like to talk about it. And I was also, I just don’t remember a lot, but there is life on the other side and we have all suffered grief in some way. Ours is not any different or any worse than anyone other has experienced and so we just wanted to share our story. All right, Billy, it’s all you.
[BILLY]: So we had a family episode last week and we didn’t talk about Olive the baby we lost. So we have Hava and Liam and after then there was a pregnancy that didn’t come to full term. And what year was that? We were —
[BRANDY]: Well, she would have been born in 2014 and then Poppy was born in 2015.
[BILLY]: Yes. So I remember getting the news that we were going to have another, and I was nervous and scared. Like I was with everyone. I don’t know. I was always, change is difficult for me.
[BRANDY]: We did a cute little, like Facebook thing with, Hava was holding a bag of ice, Liam was holding a bag of ice, and then we had the picture of the baby, like ice, ice, baby. I thought it was brilliant at the time, but we went through all the normal things, felt like a great pregnancy we’d had to, and we went and did the genetic testing, which we had done before, and they never returned the results to us. And I just got to thinking like, “Wow, it’s been a long time since we did that.” I never got the results. I’m sure everything’s fine. I called the doctor and I guess we were about month, five and a half at that point and they were like, “Yes, the doctor needs to talk to you about some stuff and he’ll get back to you.” And then they got back to us. We were ending the second trimester, starting the third trimester, and they sent us to a specialist in Dallas.
[BILLY]: Yes, I remember we had had a couple of scares there when we went in and they would do the heart monitor around your tummy, your big tummy and they would stretch the thing around and, they had trouble finding the heartbeat a time or two, and then it was always a suspended moment of fear. And then it wouldn’t be like —
[BRANDY]: When they kept saying like, “Are we sure we have the right due date? Maybe you’re not as far as long as we thought.” And we’re like, “No, we —”
[BILLY]: Because they would do the measurement, stare at the ultrasound, and they would go back and look at the chart and be like, “Well the size, the child —”
[BRANDY]: “That’s why the due date’s a little weird,” because they kept thinking its, but anyway, all that to say.
[BILLY]: Yes, they sent us to Dallas and we drove down there and got to this neonatal specialist unit. We go in and we do this weird thing of sitting in the lobby waiting to talk about possible genetic issues we might have. They take us in with a specialist and they go over and tell us that there were some things wrong here. We can’t tell you specifically what’s wrong, but there are going to be some issues and here’s best case, worst case scenario, what you guys can expect. And so we’re already preparing our minds that our future of what we thought our life was going to be like is now going to be different. And then they ushered us over to a room where they’re going to do the ultrasound and they’re going to talk to us and they’re going to get a little more clarity.
So they have the big screen up in front of us where you’re laying down on the table, where you’re sitting in there, we can see it and they turn it on and they start doing stuff. And we’re just hanging out and, I remember you telling me some weeks earlier, “Something’s not right. This is just not right.” And I kept trying to be a good husband, “Everything’s going to be okay, just smile through this. We’re going to be all right.” But in that room I just remembered there was a lot of getting up and getting down and leaving and coming back in. And then all of a sudden the screen that was facing us, they turned off and then they did a few more things.
They left for a little bit, and we’re just sitting there with each other and the doctor comes back in and she grabs her hand. And she said, “There is no heartbeat,” and begins to talk to us about what, I don’t know. I don’t know what she said, because at that moment, my heart sank and you just begin to say, “I knew. I knew something wasn’t right. I knew something wasn’t right with the baby.” And then that’s kind of where the awkwardness started because it was like, “What do we do now?” And they were like, “Well, you go home and you talk to your doctor about what you’re going to do next.”
And so we both kind of look at each other that, “Okay, our child is not alive, but it’s still there and I can see your pregnant belly.” And so we’re trying to wrap all these thoughts around, and then we take the longest three hour drive of our lives from Dallas to Texarkana. I remember coming out of that room and tears were starting to roll down your face. I put my hand on your back and not in a cruel way, but I knew we were about to walk through the lobby we came through and there were going to be people sitting in there waiting to get good news or bad news. And I was starting to get a little shaky and I said, “We need to suck it up. Like, we need to hold this in.” And you just kind of looked at me and you took a deep breath and you were like, “Uuuh.” And it’s like, all of a sudden, you just inhaled this grief.
We walked through the lobby and we get to the elevator and we go down and we don’t get out the front door. You hit a bench and there were these big cathedral arch ceilings in there, and you just begin to wail. And it just carried that sound of grief through this whole building and this guy walking out stops, like, “Do you guys need help?” And I said, “No we’re okay.” But at that moment we knew life was going to be different and we were going to have to move forward in a different way. So we get in the car and we begin to head home. I remember we stopped in Rockwall and had Mexican food. Do you remember that?
[BRANDY]: Mmh.
[BILLY]: Yes, and just stayed quiet.
[BRANDY]: Yes, I remember calling our doctor where we lived and just like freaking out on the phone and just saying like, “What am I supposed to do?” And they’re like, “We’re going to get ahold of your doctor.” It was a nurse. I was just like, “They just told me…,” and I explained everything to her and I’m like, “What am I supposed to do now?” And I guess in all the stories that we’d ever heard about people having miscarriages and things like that, no one tells you that if a baby passes away inside you, you have to go home and give birth to that baby. And I just guess I hadn’t, I never thought about that. I didn’t know what to do. You’re just carrying this life that’s no longer, I mean, I still can’t talk about it. I don’t know, and we had an amazing doctor. We have a wonderful doctor and —
[BILLY]: Shout to Dr. Jay.
[BRANDY]: We’d had two babies with him prior. And I don’t know. We stopped at a Mexican food restaurant and I don’t remember a lot of anything. I just remember thinking she’s not alive and she’s, my belly is still growing. Like I just didn’t, I just couldn’t put it all together.
[BILLY]: Yes, so we entered into a darker period of our life over the next handful of months because it wasn’t like, oh, it’s just all hard. It’s all hard. So then we have to come home and we have to begin to prepare how we’re going to tell people and what we’re going to do. And we put all this stuff on Facebook and you still very much look as pregnant and we still get asked questions.
[BRANDY]: I didn’t leave the house. I didn’t leave the house because I was, I didn’t want people to touch my belly. I didn’t want him to ask me anything. I just kind of, anyway.
[BILLY]: I remembered for me trying to find my role in that. I was about six months sober and it was a first time in my life. Something clicked in my head and I was like, this is one thing that doesn’t have to be about me. I’d lived such a selfish self-centered life and the one thing this little girl gave me was the ability to look outside of myself and ask myself, “What does my family need?” And I did kind of really grieve because of the attachment and I began to have guilt around that. Like I couldn’t embody this child I hadn’t seen. Somebody gave me a book Grieve Like a Man and I thought it was going to be your standard. Oh grieve like a man. And it was like, no, feel this stuff or feel weird or go ahead and don’t have words or be a little concerned that you may not feel enough.
I was worried about not feeling enough until I walked through it with you and I had to tell our daughter. I picked her up at school after school and just, she hadn’t got into in her car seat. I told her to get in the front seat and drove just to the parking lot of the church where she was in preschool. And I said, “Hava, I need to talk to you.” And I said, “Your little sister she’s not alive and we’re not going to bring her home.” And she just collapsed in my arms and she began to weep. And it’s that moments like that I really began to what this meant. You were at home in bed grieving and not having words or not knowing how to act but just putting one foot in front of the other. And it’s like, we were walking in quicksand. It was like, Tom had slowed down. Like it was hard to move. It was hard to breathe. It was hard to see a future that was good.
[BRANDY]: I think on top of all that we had to have a medical procedure with her. It didn’t go well and we had to have another one. I don’t want to get into any of the details of it. It was just very traumatic.
[BILLY]: It took a while to undo.
[BRANDY]: Yes. It wasn’t a normal physical thing that happened. And so we had another, I don’t know, six weeks of trauma just on the body.
[BILLY]: Yes, there was another lobby experience I had where I was sitting in the lobby of our local hospital while they wheeled you back for one of the procedures. And it was supposed to be the only procedure and it was supposed to be about 45 minutes and an hour goes by, and an hour and a half goes by. The lobby phone rings and it’s the nurse. And she says, “There’s been some complications.” But I look to my left and it’s my sponsor for my 12-step Program and to my right it’s another friend from the 12-step Program and they’re just sitting in there with me helping me through this process. And I had created this community of people I had and then we also had our little Sunday school group at the time. It’s one of the things I miss about church. You know, even though we don’t do the formal thing anymore, at the time we had this little group of a Sunday school class, and while we were there at the hospital, they had gone to our house and they had dismantled the nursery and they had painted the room and they had taken the dresser and put it in the garage and refurnished it with normal room stuff. At your request, you didn’t want to come home to a nursery and have to undo it.
[BRANDY]: I think my words were, “If you don’t get rid of that nursery, I’m going to burn that house down.” I was I’m not going home to see that.
[BILLY]: Yes.
[BRANDY]: I think that that community that we had, whether they understood what we were going through or not, they saw us hurting and I will be forever grateful for the people that did that.
[BILLY]: Yes.
[BRANDY]: Like who does that? Right? Like who does that? They didn’t even do that. You know, I know later there were people doing our laundry, there were people stocking —
[BILLY]: You came home and our underwear were folded on the couch and you were like, “Someone folded my underwear.” It’s embarrassing, but they did it.
[BRANDY]: There are a lot of things I do not remember, like weeks almost. It feels like I do not remember. I know I was not taking care of my other two children, I know that I wasn’t taking care of you guys —
[BILLY]: Our community was taking care of us. There were casseroles for days.
[BRANDY]: For weeks I didn’t have to think about anything, but there was the physical trauma still happening on my body. And then there was the emotional, and then it was just a, yes, and again, I don’t want to compare my trauma to anybody else’s because I did, I got into a thing of like, “I can’t imagine if like I’d given birth to her and had to hold her.” And then, “What if she was a year old and I had to lose…?” And then I started thinking my grief isn’t —
[BILLY]: And stop comparing.
[BRANDY]: Yes. It’s like, I shouldn’t be upset about this because it wasn’t as bad as it could have been and feeling bad for feeling bad, that it wasn’t that bad. And then I had to remember, somebody said something, I don’t remember what it was, but I just remember thinking, “I didn’t want this baby any less.” Because they kept saying we have two, that’s what it was. “You have two healthy children.” And I was like, “Yes, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want this one any less.” And as moms, you already know that baby, you feel it, you know it, you’ve named it, you’ve put your future. Yes, I had two beautiful children and I’m grateful for them, but I still wanted her. I still wanted that baby. And then slowly, a lot of my friends came forward and talked to me about their miscarriages, their stillbirths. And I’m like, “I didn’t know all of this.” Because there’s this secret community of women that suck it up. There’s this group of really strong women that don’t want to share their emotions because people don’t like talking about things that are sad, me included.
[BILLY]: Yes.
[BRANDY]: And, for sure, I don’t want to scare anybody that’s having a baby. That’s why I said, “Please don’t listen to this,” but it is a natural part. There are so many women that came forward and talked to me about their trauma that they were not able to share before. And I’m grateful for those women that came forward. And this was the beginning of our deconstruction out loud, I think. At least for me, my deconstruction out loud. Yes. And by deconstruction, I mean.
[BILLY]: The faith.
[BRANDY]: The faith. Taking apart the things that didn’t make sense to me about what I had been told and really trying to out things for myself and who God was. And I remember as clear as day sitting on my couch and I had a friend come bring me some coffee and her two questions. One of the questions was, “Well, how’s your faith with God right now?” And I remember, I’m sorry, the explicit, I remember thinking, “Fuck you.” Like, you come in here and I’m grieving and you bring me a cup of coffee and you want to talk about my faith and make sure I’m praying and reading my Bible? Fuck you. Get out of my house. I’m pretty shook up right now. I had enough of the, “God needed another angel. You have two healthy kids. It’s all going to be okay. It’ll all come out. It’s fine.”
You know, like I was just tired of these clichés. “We’ll just pray. God loves you.” I was just tired of it. I didn’t need anybody else telling me that. I needed somebody to say, “This sucks and this is awful and I’m so sorry,” and just sit with me in the pain and not try to fix me or give me some stupid little cliché that didn’t make any sense that God needed another angel. “Well then why did He have to take this one? Why did he need this angel? Really? Really?” Because then it all started to not make sense to me. “If God needed an angel, then why did he give me an angel to begin with and then take it away? What kind of sick perverted God is that? I don’t believe in that God anymore.” And I began to say these things out loud, even though I’d been thinking them for a long time, but I began to say them and I began to say them pretty vocally because I just didn’t give a shit anymore.
[BILLY]: Yes, I remember you about a year later, you had to go in for a mammogram because they had found a mass. And of course I’m the nun, I’m the peacemaker. I’m behind you and the lady’s typing on the thing and you’re a little shook up. You’re a little nervous about having to have this and she goes, “Honey, everything’s going to be okay. God’s going to take care of you.” And you said, “Really? Because some people go back there and get bad news and die of cancer.” And she said, “Oh, well, let me see if your room’s ready.” And you just got this realist perspective about you, of calling things as they are even more so than you did before. Of just saying it’s not okay. And it’s still not okay. I mean, there’s hope. Things change. It still horribly sucks that we don’t get to experience Olive.
[BRANDY]: Yes, well we, I will say that that pain was, for me at the time, it was the, even you going through rehab, she was supposed to be our do over baby, because both babies we had had you were not sober for. And I didn’t know until after.
[BILLY]: Yes.
[BRANDY]: But other people did. And this was going to be our do over baby.
[BILLY]: Yes, our fresh start.
[BRANDY]: Our fresh start, six months sobriety.
[BILLY]: I was six months sober.
[BRANDY]: And it was our do over baby because I couldn’t have handled that plus somebody in addiction. Like I just would’ve broke. And you were there for me and you stepped up. Like, I don’t think I’d ever seen you before, but you were the man I knew yu always to be. I just hadn’t experienced it since we were married. And it was pretty amazing.
[BILLY]: It’s a weird thing because they talk about in recovery being rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence, being able to see life from a different perspective, a spiritual experience, if you will. And I’d look for that my whole life. And I thought it was going to come in a very pleasant, wonderful way like rainbows and Skittles, but that spiritual experience happened somewhere around that time, through that grief in the most painful of ways. I began to understand resilience. That you can do this. You can be about other people and not about yourself. You don’t have to go into the drama of this situation. And I didn’t quite fully, fully, fully understand it until we had our boy Liam. It was my 20 year high school reunion. Olive had been gone for —
[BRANDY]: We had Poppy at that point. Poppy Kate, we had Poppy Kate. She was six weeks old at your reunion.
[BILLY]: Yes, and so Liam, and we were at the park with all the people from my high school thing and doing the reunion thing and the kids are running around and all of a sudden Liam gets lost. He was standing by me and his sister fishing from the pier and he was upset apparently because his sister wouldn’t share in the fishing pole and he takes off. And I think he just runs right up the way to you. In about 20 minutes after he had run up to you, I go up and I say, “Where’s Liam?” And you say, “I don’t know where, I haven’t seen him.” And we began to look and there are these just massive crowds of people when we began to search for him. And then the panic set, seeing that he’s not here.
[BRANDY]: And he’s been gone.
[BILLY]: And he’s been gone for awhile and we call the police and —
[BRANDY]: They barricade. People are looking, we’ve got grown men like in the water.
[BILLY]: And they started looking at the shoreline. And some people ran into the woods. I took off to the bathroom because of the work that we do, I automatically think, goes to worst case scenario, someone’s gotten him and is doing something horrible to him. And so I go to the restrooms and look just bust up in there and —
[BRANDY]: I’d given the baby to somebody. I just handed it to a mom and just started screaming, running around frantic. And there were grown men crying. Like everybody was searching for him.
[BILLY]: Well, I had called, I had tried to run to go take my car, there was only one entrance and block the entrance so nobody could leave if someone had him. I tried to run and I couldn’t make my body move. This physical somatic, like response was, my body was like shutting down. I couldn’t, now I know. I mean, it’s trauma. I was and it’s going through my head that, “I can’t live life without him.” I run, I get to the car, open the door, it’s a hot summer day. He sitting on the front seat covered in sweat. Car was probably 300 yards parked up in the parking lot and he had gotten mad at his sister and just waltzed up to the car a little. I mean, I don’t know how old he was in and plopped himself down in the car.
[BRANDY]: He was four.
[BILLY]: He was four years old and I just wrapped my arms around him and I held him. And in that moment it was through imagining the loss of him that all this stuff of losing Olive, because finally it was embodied in a human being for me as the dad who didn’t carry her in my womb. I never felt her. And then I also realized some people don’t get their kids back. I mean, somebody had that same story and didn’t find their little boy. And this is the life we live in. And how do we process through pain when it’s thrust upon us randomly or through a sickness that’s drawn out and we have to grieve? A therapist told me it comes in stages and waves. You can go read about the stages of grief and they’re not linear. They move in and out of your life. But she told me it would be like it was standing on the edge of the ocean and grief would move out for a while and I’d catch my breath and everything would be okay. And for you too. And then it would just move back in and wash over us and hit us. And it would do that out of nowhere. I would see it in you. You’d be moving throughout your day and you would have a memory and then all of a sudden just become overwhelmed and have a breakdown. And we had to give each other space.
[BRANDY]: We also accidentally got pregnant again very quickly after we had lost the baby. And this is also a PSA. Condoms don’t always work.
[BILLY]: No, they didn’t in that case.
[BRANDY]: No. And we got pregnant very quickly. And I think the experience for you and me were quite different in that. I was scared the whole time. And I was in denial.
[BILLY]: Yes, you were like, you wouldn’t name the baby.
[BRANDY]: Nope, I didn’t. Well, I mean, I —
[BILLY]: There were no posts.
[BRANDY]: No.
[BILLY]: There were no ‘Happy times. Baby’s on its way.’ You know, we had a little bloomers with Arkansas Razorbacks on it with all of his name on it. We had to fold out. There were no bloomers around.
[BRANDY]: No, there were no, we didn’t get a nursery together. We didn’t do anything. I refused to believe I was pregnant. And there was one point, I think we were about eight and a half months pregnant and the doctor said to me, “You know this baby is going to be healthy if you had her and it was a girl,” the whole time, because we were going to like all these specialists the whole time because we were at risk, “You’re going to have a baby. And if you had her today, she would be completely healthy. Like everything’s okay.” And I’m like, “Nope, not until she’s in my arms, I see her breathing for myself, I’m not going to attach. I’m not going to get attached.”
[BILLY]: I remember at about that six month mark, six, six and a half months when we lost Olive, when you were pregnant with Poppy, it was just man, pins and needles when we had to go in there. It would have to go in the sonogram room and it was just like, everybody held their breath until there was a —
[BRANDY]: And she was healthy from the get go. And I refused, so her name, Poppy Kate, that’s your name. Because I refused to name a baby. I was —
[BILLY]: And you remember why I wanted —
[BRANDY]: You said, first, you said, “I want a happy name. I want something joyful.” And I’m like, “Pick whatever you want.” And it sad. I look back and I’m like, in my mind, I believed she’s going to die. “So I’m not going to pick a name. I’m not going to get attached. This is what it is.” But there was this real, like, I’m just not going to admit that this baby is alive yet because I don’t want to go through that pain again. God, I can’t even begin to tell you how scared I was of losing something I loved again. So you said, “I want something happy.”
[BILLY]: Yes. So we named her Poppy.
[BRANDY]: And what does it mean?
[BILLY]: And lo and behold, I mean the poppy flower is used as a flower of remembrance. And there wasn’t intentional. Poppy just sounded fun. And then trolls came out and everybody thought the name was —
[BRANDY]: We had it first.
[BILLY]: And through the poppy troll, but that even made it, added more fun in —
[BRANDY]: The poppies grow where other things, where other flowers don’t and they grow in remembrance of those we’ve lost.
[BILLY]: Yes.
[BRANDY]: And you named her Poppy. So all that to say, there is hope and there is reconstruction. Our story is different and every everyone’s story looks different, but everyone’s story is just as important to how we shape ourselves and the people we become through grief and through suffering. There is growth and there is beauty in the midst of darkness. In the midst of things won’t grow, life will grow.
Speaker 1: You know, Wondervision, the new Marvel show that I haven’t watched yet that I so want to watch, but I got to see one clip of one part. And he has a phrase in there and he says, “What is grief if not love persevering?” You know, what is grief, if not love persevering? And sometimes we just have to hang on, hang on and hope for the sun to come out again. And it never quite looks the same. Everything has a different shade. I can’t explain my grief completely to another person because it’s like describing the color green to someone who’s never seen it. I don’t have the words to articulate what it looks like, but everything in my life has a shade of olive green now. I seek God through that lens, I see relationships through that form of grief, and it’s changed me as a person. It’s allowed me to tap into resilience I didn’t know I possessed. It’s allowed me to sit with others who’ve gone through grief. I even named the counseling practice I own with my friend Olive Tree Counseling. And looking at the olive tree, it has deep roots that allow it to be resilient during times of drought. And you know, I can’t quite describe it and I have a lot of questions around grief and I definitely don’t have it figured out. I don’t know why we have to suffer loss.
[BRANDY]: But we don’t have to suffer alone. And I think that’s the message. We were surrounded by a community, which is crazy because in sobriety we had community. When you were an activity addiction, we were in isolation and we would not have been able to go through this, not being in community. And so I think today for people listening, if you’ve gone through something, if you’re going through something, you do not have to go through it alone. You can share your grief with other people. It’s okay because the people that have been through something, maybe they’ll sit with you and if not, please seek out some help.
[BILLY]: You may get some cheesy solutions and answers, but that’s more about people feeling uncomfortable and having, they don’t have the words to say and I think they try to just plug something in there.
[BRANDY]: Let’s be the people that don’t plug those things in. Let’s be a community of people there for each other to sit with each other in the pain and say, “I’m so sorry. I’m here for you.” And really be here for people. Like what would the world look like if we did that, if we didn’t try to appease our own emotions, but we just sat with someone else like true empathy, just saying “You’re not in it alone.”
[BILLY]: Are you ready to find freedom to be yourself as a beta male. Do you want permission and tools to be your best beta? Are you ready to join the revolution and define your strength as a beta? If you want to be comfortable in your own skin and be the most authentic beta male, then our free Beta Male Revolution course is for you. Sign up for free at betamalerevolution.com/course.
This podcast is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regards to the subject matter covered. This is given with the understanding that neither the host, Practice of the Practice, or the guests are providing legal, mental health, or other professional information. If you need a professional, you should find one.

Beta Male Revolution is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a network of podcasts seeking to help you thrive, imperfectly. To hear other podcasts like the Bomb Mom Podcast, Imperfect Thriving, or Empowered and Unapologetic, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.

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