Moving On After Loss & Becoming a Sudden Caregiver with Karen Warner Schueler

Are you someone’s primary caregiver? How do you move forward in life after suffering a big loss? What are the important protocols to set up to help you sustain yourself while caring for someone else?

In this podcast episode, Billy and Brandy Eldridge speak with Karen Warner Schueler about becoming a sudden caregiver and moving on after loss.

Meet Karen Warner Schueler

On the day Karen became a sudden caregiver, she was a wife, a mom, a consultant and business owner, a coach, a runner, a friend, and a consumer of too much Starbucks coffee. She was not a caregiver. Until she was. On that day when her late husband was diagnosed — out of the blue — with stage IV cancer, Karen certainly had no idea that she had instantaneously joined a silent army of informal, unpaid family caregivers around the world who had also been pressed into sudden service.

Karen’s book, The Sudden Caregiver, is a practical and proven guide, a roadmap, and a source of comfort for anyone who is caring for a loved one.

Visit The Sudden Caregiver website as well as Tangible Group.

Connect with Karen on LinkedIn.

FREEBIE: Access these Free Caregiver Resources and redeem a free e-book or paperback book by reaching out to kws@thesuddencaregiver.com

In This Podcast

Summary

  • The structure of Karen’s book
  • Moving forward in life after a loss
  • Protocols of becoming a sudden caregiver

The structure of Karen’s book

The Sudden Caregiver was written in three parts:

1 – Pathways to wellbeing: Building a level of resilience to deal with the crisis of having to treat an illness and care for the person going through it.

2 – The roadmap: dealing with the sudden stress with the acronym CARE:

C – crisis

A – as normal as possible

R – resolution, hopefully positive

E – evolve back into your life

3 – Evolution: what are the kinds of things you can do to integrate the lessons that you have learned? Because caregiving impacts and changes you profoundly.

Moving forward in life after a loss

The number one thing is to accept that there is a caregiving paradox. The paradox is that [in] everything you read when you research caregiving and what you can do … a lot of things [say that things] are going to be incredibly negative for the caregiver. But at the same time, that wasn’t my whole experience. (Karen Warner Schueler)

The caregiver’s paradox is that the caregiver is constantly in crisis, but the crises will not always feel the same, because you learn to cope with each problem that arises.

The caring is both a source of distress and burnout as well as a source of well-being if you can reframe it for yourself – with a lot of positive psychology.

There will be moments of softness and love amidst the stress and frustration.

Protocols of becoming a sudden caregiver

  • Expect the best but prepare for the worst
  • Find your group of core friends or loved ones who will support you

We tend as caregivers to not reach out to other people … about half of all caregivers just go it alone and don’t ask for help. (Karen Warner Schueler)

  • Be honest with yourself about what you need help with and delegate tasks out to loved ones who will help you to do them
  • Do not let people into your inner core group who are going to take time, energy, or resources away from you.

Useful links:

Meet Billy Eldridge

billy-eldridge

Meet Billy, the resident beta male. For Billy, this is a place to hang out with other beta males and the people who love them. We’re redefining what beta males look like in the world. I have learned to embrace my best beta self, and I can help you to do the same. As a therapist, I understand the need to belong. You belong here. Join the REVOLUTION.

 

Meet Brandy Eldridge

brandy-eldridge

Hello, Beta friends. I am an alpha personality who is embracing the beta way of life. I feel alive when connected with people, whether that is listening to their stories or learning about their passions. Forget small talk, let’s go deep together. Come to the table and let’s have some life-changing conversations.

 

Thanks for listening!

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Beta Male Revolution is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a network of podcasts seeking to help you thrive, imperfectly. To hear other podcasts like the Bomb Mom Podcast, Imperfect Thriving, or Empowered and Unapologetic, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.

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