Tikkun Olam with Mindy and Daniel Solomon | Episode 32

Tikkun Olam with Mindy and Daniel Solomon | Episode 32

What are some different therapy techniques that a therapist can use to help heal emotional turmoil in a patient? How can therapists provide safe spaces for their clients? How can we view the world in a way that we observe how our actions affect one another?

In this podcast episode, Billy and Brandy Eldridge speak with Mindy and Daniel Solomon about Tikkun Olam.

Meet Mindy and Daniel Solomons

Mindy and Daniel Solomon have created Mile High Mental Health and are based out of Denver Colorado

With over 20 years of professional experience, Dr. Mindy Solomon specializes in the treatment of eating disorders, depression, anxiety, relationship issues, and related concerns with self-esteem, identity, and body image. She has expertise in working with children and adolescents and families. Dr. Solomon also has an extensive background in working with the specialized needs of gifted and twice-exceptional individuals.

Mindy is committed to providing evidence-based, high-quality compassionate care. Dr. Solomon is a certified Advanced Therapist in Emotion-Focused Family Therapy and is a Certified Eating Disorder Specialist with advanced training in and experience with Family-Based Treatment for eating disorders.

Visit their website, listen to his podcast.

In This Podcast

Summary

  • Emotion-focused therapy
  • Tikkun Olam

Emotion-focused therapy

That’s really all therapy comes down to – we’re just human beings, helping other human beings find their way to healing. (Mindy Solomon)

This is one of the therapies that Mindly really believes in. Emotion-focused therapy is looking at things through the lens of unprocessed emotions. This really destigmatizes everything and throws things out there on a continuum.

Tikkun Olam

This Jewish expression is loosely interpreted as ‘repairing the world’. This is the work that people should strive to do throughout their lives, to leave the world and their surroundings in a better condition than in which they initially encountered it.

A big part of Beta Male Revolution is to bridge the divide and teach both men and women how to function and be the best they can within their communities. By working on yourself, you are helping everyone else around you.

Are you ready to find the freedom to be yourself as a beta male? Do you want permission and tools to be your best beta? Are you ready to join the revolution to find strength as a beta? If you want to be comfortable in your skin and be the most authentic beta male, then our free beta revolution course is for you. Sign up for free.

Useful links:

Meet Billy Eldridge

billy-eldridge

Meet Billy, the resident beta male. For Billy, this is a place to hang out with other beta males and the people who love them. We’re redefining what beta males look like in the world. I have learned to embrace my best beta self, and I can help you to do the same. As a therapist, I understand the need to belong. You belong here. Join the REVOLUTION.

Meet Brandy Eldridge

brandy-eldridge

Hello, Beta friends. I am an alpha personality who is embracing the beta way of life. I feel alive when connected with people, whether that is listening to their stories or learning about their passions. Forget small talk, let’s go deep together. Come to the table and let’s have some life-changing conversations.

Thanks for listening!

Did you enjoy this podcast? Feel free to leave a comment below or share this podcast on social media! You can also leave a review of the Beta Male Revolution Podcast on iTunes and subscribe!

Podcast Transcription

[BILLY]:
Beta Male Revolution is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a family of podcasts seeking to change the world. To hear other podcasts like the Bomb Mom podcast, Imperfect Thriving, or Empowered and Unapologetic, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.

The idea for this podcast has been rolling around in our minds for quite a while, but it really formed about a year ago, when we were in Estes Park, Colorado at a conference and Brandy and I, during that time, met some people who have remained friends to this day, Dr. Mindy and Daniel Solomon. I can’t quite say what happened there because we both come from different parts of the United States with different religious upbringings. But we found ourselves in these deep conversations about life, and the future we want for ourselves and for our children. And we wanted that conversation to continue on air. We’ve met throughout the year over Zoom calls, they’re in Denver, Colorado, we’re in Texarkana, Texas. We’ve had just get togethers where we sit down, and we’ve talked about life. And we’ve laughed together, and we’ve cried together and talked about our joys and purged some of our frustrations.

And I really believe that we heal in community not in isolation. And we’re not limited by location anymore when it comes to building relationships. And so we’ve been so lucky to get to know them. And we’re going to share a conversation with you guys today that we had with them. But one of the words that came up, Daniel shared with us towards the end of the podcast was Tikkun Olam. It’s a Jewish word and I’m just now learning about it and reading about it, but loosely translated, it’s repair the world. And when this airs I assume the world will still be in a bit of an odd place, we’ve been in an odd place for quite a while, and a lot of folks are feeling stressed, feeling overwhelmed. But in community, you can work through that stuff. And we just wanted to show y’all how we do that, over conversations with people about life and just getting to know folks and their background and sharing cups of coffee and having conversations.

So join us, we love you Beta Male Revolution. Thank you guys for listening, and taking some time out of your day to listen to what we have to say. If you have anything you want us to talk about, or if you have anything to say, reach out to us, we’re not that hard to get ahold of. There’s an email located on betamalerevolution.com and I’ll usually respond within 24 hours. So if there’s anything that you would like to hear just let us know or if there’s anything on your mind that you’re working through, not that we have an answer. But we can be a listening ear. We want to create community through this. And Daniel and Mindy also happen to have the alpha beta dynamic in their relationship. And it was just kind of cool how that all came out over conversations right at about a year ago, with the backdrop of the mountains and the elk in Estes Park, Colorado.

But we can still have those same types of conversations with the backdrop of a Zoom computer and headphones and in mics on and trouble with internet connections and glitches and freezing and all of that. If the relationship’s worth it, you’ll make time for it. And that’s what we did. And we just happened to plug it in and push record to see what would happen. I hope through our exchange, it comforts your heart, makes you want to reach out to someone, put out a cup of coffee and have a conversation. You don’t have to carry the burden alone. Lots going on right now. It’s gonna be okay but we gotta stick together

[BILLY]:
Hey, Beta Male Revolution. It’s Brandy and I today. And we have the opportunity to have some dear friends on, some friends from another place in the world. Colorado, Denver, Colorado, in fact,and we met them over four short days, about a year ago, yet we’ve continued this relationship we’ve built, and in a world that’s just full of divisive issues and craziness, it’s good to find people that you resonate with, even though you’ve grown up completely opposite and different. So today, Brandy and I have Daniel and Mindy Solomon on the show and they have Mile High Counseling. Mindy is a psychologist and works in private practice and Daniel helps run the business. So, Daniel and Mindy, how y’all doing?

[MINDY]:
We’re doing great. We’re doing really well tonight.

[DANIEL]:
Yeah, thank you for having us on this. We’re excited. And you know, it just, you touched upon this relationship. It’s just kind of it’s, it’s, it was like a year and a week ago. And what a year and it’s been since.

[BILLY]:
Since that year, we’ve been on phone calls and Zoom happy hours, and we’ve shared laughter and tears and relationship frustrations and child rearing during COVID. And how in the world does that happen in just a few days? I’m just, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude, but also a little perplexed. It’s just one of those universe things. I don’t know. But um, well, let’s just, let’s get into it. Let’s talk, guys.

[BRANDY]:
All right.

[DANIEL]:
Well, you know, Billy, I’ll say this, that I’ve always for most of my life, I’ve always been a person that’s believed in a lot of, you know, we can control the world kind of thing, we can control our own world. And Mindy, since I’ve known her for 20 years now, Mindy and I met and…

[MINDY]:
That sounded weird. 20 years.

[DANIEL]:
Mindy, we’ve known… And Billy and Brandy have known each other since college. So yeah, there’s another couple that, in a way, has known each other 20 years.

[BILLY]:
Well, you’ve got to tell. Where’d you guys meet?

[MINDY]:
We met on Jdate.

[BILLY]:
And for us Christian folks out here, yeah, what is Jdate?

[MINDY]:
Jdate is the Jewish dating site, like the Jewish kind of match.com that, I think when we did it, there was match.com and Jdate and maybe, there was no swiping involved when we were on Jdate.

[BILLY]:
You didn’t have to swipe right on Daniel.

[MINDY]:
No.

[DANIEL]:
No, no. And in fact, I mean, this was dial up days, this was definitely in dial up. And the other, I think, really important technological caveat to attach to this story is that when Mindy posted her profile, we were at a time where you had to upload a picture, and someone on the back end would take 24 to 48 hours to approve that picture before it posted. So there was a waiting period. And in fact that waiting period was kind of significant in our online courtship.

[MINDY]:
That’s right, because I was pretty reluctant to do an online dating, it was pretty taboo back then. And a friend of mine in grad school, convinced me to do it. And so I decided that I would, I would sign up for the initial, I think you had to pay $15, or something like that. So I decided I was gonna, I was going to splurge and spend the $15 that I could actually reach out to the people that I was interested in, not just have to be waiting by which I think was the distinction. And I basically went shopping for boys. That’s what I told my friends, I was online shopping for boys, for men. And I reached out to a couple of different people that seemed interesting to me. And of course, as he mentioned, my picture wasn’t up. So I got an interesting variety of responses. Some people were more polite about it than others, some people are pretty flat out that all sounds good, but ping me again when your picture posts. And Daniel was really the only person that responded without mentioning the fact that there was no picture, and that stood out to me, that he was willing to meet me and talk to me, because whatever I wrote to him sounded interesting enough that it was worth his time, no matter no matter what I might look like on the other end. So that definitely stood out to me.

[DANIEL]:
And you know what also stood out and this is like, honestly, the first time in 20 years that I’m remembering this, Billy and Brandy, and I know, you’re gonna love this and this is not a story that we’ve told you. But one of the things that Mindy and I bonded over those first, I would say seven to 10 days before we actually met, we were exchanging emails and stuff, messages, was we bonded over our love of Dave Matthews Band.

[BILLY]:
Oh.

[MINDY]:
Yeah.

[BRANDY]:
What? This is news. Well, I think I’m in love with both of you.

[DANIEL]:
And we’ve seen Dave several many times in our lifetime together.

[MINDY]:
It’s probably the first concert we went to.

[DANIEL]:
Probably. Yeah, I’m sure. We exchanged a lot. I remember a lot of our emails being about like, we love this song. And I love the lyric in this song. And I love the lyric and you know, just kind of which were our favorite Dave songs. I think a lot of our early emails which who the heck knows where they’re at, that’s what they’re about.

[MINDY]:
Mm hmm. Yeah.

[BILLY]:
Let’s go to the gorge. You know?

[DANIEL]:
Yeah.

[BILLY]:
Yeah. Outside of… let’s make that happen. So we’ll play that off air.

[BRANDY]:
For all of our listeners born after the year 2000, Dave Matthews is a band. Google them, they have very deep, good, solid, real music. So we’ll just pause it for our audience under 35.

[MINDY]:
Yeah.

[BILLY]:
We’ll link to the first album in the show notes.

[BRANDY]:
Yeah, we really should.

[BILLY]:
Yeah.

[BRANDY]:
That’s pretty cool.

[BILLY]:
Man. That is a beautiful story.

[BRANDY]:
So when we first met – and we do want to let our audience know that you guys are professionals and we want to get into what it is that you do and why we find you fascinating and all the good stuff, too – but when we met, we met in Estes Park, we were at a conference. Billy, like the second or third day, gets something stuck in his eye. Not sure what it is. We don’t have a way to get him to the doctor. There’s no… where we were staying you couldn’t get an Uber, you couldn’t get anyone to come pick you up. And we had no car.

[BILLY]:
The YMCA of the Rockies.

[BRANDY]:
And you guys offered us your car, we barely knew you. And I would never put anyone out. Like, that’s just southern hospitality. You do not like inconvenience everyone. And we had no choice. And we were like, yeah, I guess. Can we take your car, and you guys offered it to us, and we took your car to town and took Billy to the doctor.

[BILLY]:
Dodging elk, driving around the winding streets of Estes Park.

[BRANDY]:
And it was then that I knew, like, man, these people trust us. We trust them. We’ve known them for maybe 48 hours. And that’s just kind of how it started.

[DANIEL]:
Brandy, I think I initially offered and then within a certain amount of time, 15 minutes, a half hour or whatever it was, I insisted, and honestly, like, let’s be honest, like, had you not taken us up on it and when I insisted that you take the car, obviously the friendship wouldn’t be here. But like, you just had to know the same thing we knew, that these are good people. Right. And this is a theme that we’ve brought up a lot in some of our other conversations, the good people, you know what it means to be a good person and to connect with other really, people who are good. And we don’t have to go down that road just yet because we were on some other tangent about how we met and different parts of the country and all that stuff, Billy.

[BILLY]:
Yeah, so Mindy, you were in grad school. What were you doing in grad school at the time?

[MINDY]:
When I met Daniel?

[BILLY]:
Yeah.

[MINDY]:
Um, so I had just started a PhD program, psychology PhD program in Los Angeles. And I studied clinical psychology. And I had already gotten a masters degree in a different kind of clinical health psychology was what they called it, it was more of a behavioral and it’s kind of more of the scientific, I’m on my road to being a research professor. I thought that that was the only legitimate way to go. And I kind of did an about face right, as I graduated from that masters program, and thought, well, maybe I’ll throw my hat into a clinical school here or there just in case I change my mind. And sure enough, when I had the options in front of me, I think my heart kind of tugged me in the direction that I knew that I wanted to go and I went to the professional school for clinical psychology. And that was what I was doing. And I was just ready to see what doors were going to open for me in clinical psychology.

[BILLY]:
Oh, and I’m so grateful you went that route. You’ve been such a help to me, you took me through a process of just blocks that I was dealing with in my professional life. And we got an opportunity to do that a while back. And it was such a dare I say a sacred space you created for me to do some work and take a dive into my heart and my insecurities and really open up and so thank you for that.

[BRANDY]:
Are we going to talk about that? Because last week, I come in and Billy’s having a therapy session with you over Zoom. And he comes out and he says, man, that was just so powerful. So good. And then I’m like, are we going to talk about it? Yeah, yeah, let’s save it for the podcast. And then we’re on the podcast and you kind of allude to it and I’ve asked Billy, like, are you gonna process this out with me? Are you gonna tell me what happened? If it’s something you want to keep personal we can keep it personal. Like, no, no. So I’ve been like on the edge of my seat, wanting to know what all this is about. And I’m supposed to find out today and you guys just kind of skimmed over it.

[MINDY]:
Well, let me kind of give a little, see if I can keep it concise which is not my forte, I will be the first to admit.

[DANIEL]:
I’ll be the second to [unclear].

[MINDY]:
He’ll second that motion. Fair. So one of the different therapies that I am involved with that I really believe in and ascribe to is an emotion focused therapy. And basically what it is, is just really looking at things through the lens of unprocessed emotion. So it’s really destigmatizing everything and kind of throwing things out there on a continuum, or a spectrum, saying we’re all human. That’s really what therapy comes down to is that we’re all just, we’re human beings helping other human beings find their way to healing. And that’s really, that’s really my kind of overarching philosophy that’s developed through lots of ebbs and flows and twists and turns over the years that I’ve been involved in this field. But really, what it comes down to is, these these quotes on compassion that I keep reading, and I’m just, I gravitate towards finding the heart center of things and leading from that place, and just really connecting with people on a felt level, and guiding them to places that I just I can feel and sense that that’s where they want to go. And I feel like that’s what I bring to the table in terms of my capabilities as a clinician, and I just want to share that with everybody who’s interested, who’s willing.

And one of the ways that I’ve learned to do this, in my training with emotion focused therapy is to identify things that come up for us as emotion blocks. So they’re usually rooted to some fears that we have deep down about things that really relate to our ability to process our own emotion. So whatever stories we have, experiences we have about our belief in ourselves, our confidence in ourselves, to be able to handle really strong emotional states that come up in us, we tend to maneuver our world to try and manage that and mitigate that. And sometimes it manifests in patterns of behaviors that we’re feeling stuck in. And so the process that I took Billy through, it’s an organized intervention, you know, one that’s been trialed and studied and all the rest of it. And it’s a process that basically allows him to in a non judgmental way, almost split his parts of himself, the part of him that is protecting this fear, and the part of him that wants to do something different than what he’s doing in a clinical situation.

So in this case, it was talking about, Billy believes, from a clinical perspective, that helping a young person that he’s working with, a teenage person that he’s working with, bringing in that person’s family, but the family system is challenging, and there’s a lot going on. And so Billy’s conflict was about I know clinically, that I should do this, and it’s come up before and I’ve tried, and it doesn’t really work out. And kind of on a surface level, that’s understandable. I mean, that’s, yeah, I mean, I don’t think anybody would argue with that. But Billy has a sense kind of underneath the surface that just doesn’t sit quite right with him. It’s not quite in alignment. He feels like maybe there’s something else that might be there that’s determining his behaviors of not trying harder, of not insisting, of being kind of appeased by the adolescent saying, no, no, no, this is my personal space, I don’t want you to bring my family.

And so we just kind of go through this intervention process where Billy literally gets to split himself in two and it’s a imaginal process where there’s two chairs, and he’s, I’m guiding him through this process where he’s looking at these different parts of himself and having a conversation with those different parts of himself, and having a conversation with his imagined, embodied connection with this client that he’s working with. And we go through that, I just really guide him through that process of seeing where the wisdom in the block is, where his knowledge and his experience and his felt understanding of what’s going on with the client, how that’s guiding it, and then also how the fear is interfering with his ability to get through the barriers and the obstacles and, I mean, Billy was so open to this process, totally new, totally outside the box. And like you said, on Zoom and all the rest of it. And I don’t know, Billy, if you want to kind of pick up the baton from there and speak a little bit about your experience in that.

[BILLY]:
Yeah. So many times you get out of grad school and then assume that’s it, no more growing. Um, I know everything I need to know. But I don’t want that to be the case. Just as learning and changing and growing as a person and a clinician and every time I address something clinically, it helps me personally, and I just moved into some fears and insecurities I had as a professional, you get into that imposter syndrome, you get into that fear based thinking, if I bring in a certain clinical path, what if I lose control of the situation and things go bad and just start playing some tapes? And that’s the insecurity. Or I go to the pride side, I know what’s best, and I don’t need to challenge anything, and I know all I need to know and I don’t need to bring any new ideas in. But I had to get rid of all that bullshit, and just sit down and go through the process and see what the fears and blocks were. And it moved me through it in such a gracious way.

And you don’t have to be up a therapist or clinician to do this. I mean, there’s very practical, just personal, in our personal lives, we have blocks, emotional blocks, I believe that keep us from experiencing life and relationships to their fullest potential. And so it guided me and took me through a process and allowed me to address some difficult emotions while it was kind of, I was almost in an insulated environment where it was okay to go there. It was still scary to admit some things, but you said something, non judgmental, and that was probably the most important part of it for me. And we have a video of it. Maybe one day if I’m feeling crazy, I will post it, but maybe not today.

[DANIEL]:
Did you see that client last week? Billy did you see that client this last week?

[BILLY]:
I haven’t yet. I haven’t yet. I have not yet, but I will.

[DANIEL]:
I’ll be really dying to know what your experience is after that.

[BILLY]:
Absolutely. Well, thank you so much, Dr. Mindy Solomon, during that moment, for graciously guiding me through that. Um, so that’s kind of like some of the stuff, Mindy, you do in your professional world. But kind of back to I mean, you guys were out in California, raised in, would you say traditional Jewish upbringing homes?

[DANIEL]:
We were both raised reform. And so there’s mostly three levels of Judaism, there’s reform, which is kind of the most. Oh, gosh, there’s a lot of words I could say wrong. I’m just gonna say it’s the most relaxed one. Conservative, which is kind of the middle of the road, as conservative would connotate. And then there’s the Orthodox, which I think is what a lot of people kind of who don’t have a lot of everyday exposure to Jewish people, I think there are people that look at like movies and TV shows and see maybe Orthodox people and think that a lot of Jewish people are orthodox, and that is not indeed the case. There’s kind of every flavor, I guess.

[BILLY]:
So during that time, when you guys met, and Mindy was in grad school, finishing this great degree she’s done and I’m so glad she did, what were you doing, Daniel?

[DANIEL]:
So I was, um, I was transitioning from… I was at a crossroads once again, in my life, which I’ve been at a few times. But I was at a crossroads where I had recently left working at Warner Brothers. My first job out of grad school, when I was 23, I went to Syracuse for a masters degree, my first masters degree. I actually have two masters. And I went into feature film advertising at Warner Brothers and worked there for about four years. And it was a terrific job, it was great. It was, you know, that first job out of school, and it was, it had a lot of career potential. I mean, listen, I wasn’t rubbing elbows with any celebrities, by any means or anything like that. But there was a certain cachet, or we will say sexiness, of working for a Hollywood studio, and working in a capacity that was important for the advertising of movies. And I actually, in four years time, I had been promoted, I think four or five times and I was on kind of a what some might have seen as almost like a fast track to kind of a higher level position in the company, or at least within the department that I was working in.

And I realized after about four years, that that’s not what I wanted to do. So I left that. And I actually became a personal trainer for about six months, I was really into fitness and exercise at that time. And that that interest in personal training and in fitness actually prompted me to then go back to school again to get another master’s degree. And at the same time, that’s when I started a teaching career. So I went into teaching at that time, and my first teaching position was at a Los Angeles Unified School District, quasi suburban, quasi urban, middle school with six through eighth graders. I had no experience teaching, and I kind of was thrown into the mix of saying, this is what I wanted to do and I became a middle school math and science teacher. And the logistics of how I became a teacher are far beyond the scope of this conversation but when I met Mindy, I was in my first year of teaching, I think.

[MINDY]:
And I will just add in that that was significant in me picking him when I was shopping for men, as I alluded to, because, you know, when you’re dating in Los Angeles, a lot of people are in the industry, in air quotes. A lot of people in their 20s are there because they moved from somewhere else to chase the Los Angeles dream. And when you grow up in Los Angeles, it’s not the same, it doesn’t have the same appeal. It doesn’t, it doesn’t mean the same thing. And so for me, it was an automatic rule out when I was scrolling through and anybody who is in the industry, I didn’t want anything to do with. And what caught my eye about Daniel’s profile was that he had actually made the move out of the industry to go into something like teaching that was going to be more of a personal impact and have a more authentic stamp on the world. And I just thought that that stood out to me that somebody, you know, somebody – and he wrote that in his very short profile, so that was something that was significant about him that he wasn’t gonna be led by their lore and the appeal of the kind of the slick Hollywood lifestyle.

[DANIEL]:
You know what might get you guys to chuckle a little bit? The movie Swingers came out in the late 90s, I think I was maybe at my first or second year working at Warner Brothers at that time. And listen, that movie has a decent amount of exaggerations. You know, like when all five guys get in all five separate cars and drive to a party, that didn’t quite happen, but a lot of that, that’s what our kind of, for both Mindy and I, that’s what a lot of our 20s kind of looked like. It very much looked like what that movie looked like. That’s what a lot of my pre dating days before Mindy looked like. Um, you know, that kind of, you know, being a swinger.

[BILLY]:
You talked about you didn’t rub elbows with lots of celebrities and stuff. But I remember a story of you coming across the Friends cast, correct, when…?

[DANIEL]:
Yeah, this is, I can tell this one pretty darn quickly. And it’s actually, it’s a bit topical, because my position was to have ongoing kind of business relationships with theater circuit chains. And one of the ones that I had a really good relationship with was Cinemark, which was based out of, I think, Plano, Texas.

[BILLY]:
Yeah, we have Cinemark here, that’s our movie [unclear].

[DANIEL]:
And so the Cinemark group that I worked with, which is about three different people, were in town, and we were there for a few days. And kind of when there are, when representatives from a feeder circuit in the advertising end on their end are in town, you know, we take them out, we kind of wine them and dine them, we bring them to the studio lot. And so we impact but with this group, we actually went to Disneyland one of the days but that’s besides the point. So one of the first days they are there, they meet us at our building, and we are walking across the street to the commissary. And the commissary is where a lot of the celebrities would, you know, George Clooney was very big on the Warner Brothers set during that time, he was Batman, and he was the doctor in ER, and he was, you know, he walked on water. And he was in the commissary at times, and so on, so forth. So big, big celebrities are in there. So I turned to these folks from Cinemark. And I said, okay, you’re here. Like, if you could see anybody when we open those doors, who would you like to see? And one of the people we’re with said oh, love to see the Friends cast. And I said well, you’re in luck.

Now, granted, this was probably seven minutes before we actually approached the door of the restaurant, the Commissary. So I was obviously being a smartass and facetious with them. And I walk up to the door, and there’s probably a group of about six of us and I opened the door and I see a group of six other people exiting at that particular moment, out these double doors of the commissary. So kind of like, you know, our six kind of like almost stepped aside to let the pathway not knowing who these people were. And out pour the six members of the Friends cast.

[BRANDY]:
You’re lying. That never happened. No way. There’s no way.

[DANIEL]:
It absolutely did, Brandy. It absolutely did.

[BILLY]:
But what I love even better, because of a core conviction you left that world to become a middle school teacher. And it just defined you guys and your relationship and the way you support your wife in her career and in Mile High Counseling and the way y’all work together and just explain that a little bit to us and what y’all do before we get out of here and we want to hear about it.

[DANIEL]:
Yeah, so well first of all, Billy, I’m going to give you a little correction – it’s Mile High Mental Health and, but here’s the pneumonic now that you can remember it, it’s MH, MH, so it’s right there.

[BILLY]:
Mile High Mental Health.

[DANIEL]:
Yes. And so our logo has an MH, MH in it. The story I like to tell which I think Mindy is nodding her head in approval is that in 2019, right at the beginning of 2019, Mindy and I were 45 years old and we had – I think I had mine first Mindy followed up with it – what we consider to be kind of our quintessential midlife crises, you know, a textbook midlife crisis. And we spent most of 2019 kind of, oh, 2018, 2018, yes, gosh, the years where they go, oh. 2018, most of 2018 to then have kind of the aha moment towards the…

[MINDY]:
Reorganization.

[DANIEL]:
Yeah, the pivot in the fall of 2018. After I figured my stuff out and where I wanted to be and Mindy had determined that she’d no longer wanted to continue her career at Children’s Hospital Colorado, we decided that she would open a private practice. And it was a dream that we had had that we’d forgotten about since from the time that we met, that we would eventually have a private practice together. And Mindy would do what she does, which is heal people. And I would do everything else that it takes to run a practice. And of course, Billy and Brandy, it’s that easy. Of course. I mean, there’s no stumbling, you know, blurring lines or whatever, I mean.

[MINDY]:
We are great at boundaries.

[DANIEL]:
Yes. So, um, but yeah, so we enter this thing, and at the very… Mindy’s last day at Children’s Hospital was January 3 of 2019 and she started her private practice. And she rented some space for about the first three months, and came home one day and said, I’d like my own space. And I said, let’s get you your own space.

[MINDY]:
Well, I said, I want to rent my own space. I’m ready for my own office. And Dan said, why don’t we look to buy your own space?

[DANIEL]:
And so we bought this charming home that was a commercially zoned home, it had actually been previously owned by a therapist, who was renting office space to other therapists. And again, the logistics of how we found this home are vast at this point. But we found this home in the spring of 2019. And we pursued it and we bought a little cute house that has served as our home away from home practice.

[MINDY]:
Built in 1901.

[DANIEL]:
Yes, the house is close to 120 years old.

[MINDY]:
We painted it bright yellow, and it’s my little wellness cottage.

[BRANDY]:
Well, everyone in the Denver area, go to the little yellow house, go and see Mindy. I want to, before we leave, I want to schedule an appointment with Mindy, I need to have a Zoom call, a private session, and leave feeling like I talked to part of myself that has blocks.

[MINDY]:
Any time, my friend. Any time.

[DANIEL]:
Brandy, as Mindy was telling it before, I pictured you being like the person in the bakery with the pink little tickets, you know, and you’re like, I got ticket number two here. Like Billy had ticket one, I got a ticket two, I’m up next. Okay, I’d like my sweet stuff now at this point.

[MINDY]:
But can I just say that I’m really glad that you said that, Brandy, because that’s really the whole point of what the exercise is that I did with Billy, is that we say this in the trainings too, if you’re human, you have blocks, you know, kind of like, everybody has them. So there’s no judgement about what they are, how you come by them. Everybody has them. It’s part of being human. And so when I do this process with clients, I’ve done it on myself, you know, so I’m not, it’s not… And that’s fundamental to how I see this approach and how I see my role as a healer is I’m not somebody who’s done and I’m providing something to you. I’m just another person with blocks, who’s kind of stumbling through my own path and I’ve happened to come across the way that’s helped me And now I’d like to offer it to help you and so it’s just two people compassionately holding space to help each other. So I’m happy to do it, anytime.

[BRANDY]:
And I think that’s super important to know, for people who want to see a therapist is that there has to be some sort of trust with your therapist that you can feel like that person is really there to hold space and not going through the motions, not blanketing some sort of prescription for you of this is what we do, this is what I do in my office, but really going there with you, and you are that person, Mindy, Dr. Solomon, that I trust you 100% completely to know that what you’re doing and the service you’re providing, is for healing, is there to help. And that’s what you and Daniel, together, you guys are helping people, you’re putting good out there in the world, you’re putting a mark saying we want to leave the world better than we found it. So I appreciate you guys more than you know.

[DANIEL]:
Oh my gosh, Brandy, we scratched the whole surface about us being Jewish. You know, there’s an expression called tikkun olam in Judaism, it’s basically loosely interpreted as like repairing the world, and maybe that should be the topic of our next whatever, dialogue, but you you hit on such a beautiful thing of just this what it means to kind of leave the world in a better place by your hand.

[BRANDY]:
Well, that’s definitely going to be the title of this podcast if I could spell it.

[DANIEL]:
Tikkun olam. That way now people who listen to it can immediately Google it. They can go like oh, T-i-k-k-u-n O-l-a-m. Tikkun Olam.

[BRANDY]:
A little service announcement there.

[DANIEL]:
Yeah,

[BILLY]:
Hey, and a big part of Beta Male Revolution is about bridging the divide and the gap and working on our own stuff so that we can function better in community. And I think it’s a beautiful world when some Christian kids from Texas can get together with some Jewish kids from California, hanging out in Colorado, and build this friendship that transcends all that. We love you guys. Thank you for taking time out tonight to spend with us. And you know, you’ve got kids, we’ve got kids, but I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else other than right here with y’all right now. And in closing, this is the Beta Male Revolution show, I’ve got to ask, we all embody a little bit of both, but in y’all’s relationship, who carries the bulk of the spirit of the alpha and who carries the bulk of the strength of the beta?

[MINDY]:
I’m an alpha in beta’s clothing and Daniel’s a beta in alpha’s clothing.

[BILLY]:
That’s what I’m talking about. The perfect place to end, my friends. We can’t wait to have you back on the show and can’t wait to just continue the conversation in the future.

[MINDY]:
Love you guys. Thank you.

[DANIEL]:
Love you too.

[BILLY]:
Love y’all.

[BILLY]:
Are you ready to find freedom to be yourself as a beta male? Do you want permission and tools to be your best beta? Are you ready to join the revolution to find your strength as a beta? If you want to be comfortable in your own skin and be the most authentic beta male, then our free Beta Male Revolution course is for you. Sign up for free at betamalerevolution.com/course.

This podcast is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. This is given with the understanding that neither the host, Practice of the Practice, or the guest are providing legal, mental health, or other professional information. If you need a professional, you should find one.

Beta Male Revolution is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a network of podcasts seeking to help you thrive, imperfectly. To hear other podcasts like the Bomb Mom Podcast, Imperfect Thriving, or Empowered and Unapologetic, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.

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